good day
fucked up evening
fucked up school
fucked up teachers
that's enough

expect everyone to say ok juz cos you're in-flexible.
that's so damn irritating
fuck off man.
i really wish that after i settle my matter i'll have more time without them ard.
pisses me off thinking bout it.
fuck off man.
everything settled alr u say wanna change then change.
other ppl as free as u ah?
bloody hell fuckers

cant give instructions properly
talk also cant talk correctly
then ppl talk u also don wanna listen
FUCKED UP WHERE ARE YOUR EARS?
ON YOUR ASS? ARE U SITTING ON YOUR EARS?
everything settled alr in the end became a mess

juz cos of one sickening meeting which won last more than an hour
i broke down n i broke down cos it's freaking irritating how adults can get as irresponsible
saying that they are understanding towards us but they're so damn not
like what the fuck i cant believe i'm living in this world

my mum told me what kind of teachers do u have in sch?
i'm so disappointed..
SO? like i can do anything if u tell me
what all of u adults want are juz answers
if i know how to answer u i wouldnt be fucking messing ard
makes me piss when u want a direct answer from me n i cant give u one
smart i may be at answering back
but when things are serious don u think that i'll think bout stuff too?
u think i live juz cos of the sake that u gave birth to me?
if so i'd gladly kill myself
jump into the middle of the road with cars
at least i'll die with machines n not freaking warmbloodedness that don deserve being called WARM blooded..assholes

if i'm that smart n all up there
i wouldnt be needing to give a damn fuck to sch
neither would i need to meet the teachers n get fucking screwed ard
u think it's fun..try it..
it pisses me off

n it pisses me off even more when i cant cope n u nv notice
all u notice is me going out for ''fun''
u nv notice that when there's sch i don even go out with my friends much
that's why during the hols i'll get tgt with my friends much more
have u ever fucking thought that i nv like staying at home with u guys ard?
the only time sch is great is cos i don need to be stuck home
i so wanna move out.

i don freaking mind moving in with someone else even if i have to do the cleaning n tidying of the place..at least there isnt someone breathing down your neck when u're relaxing..always expecting that u'll do stuff for them even without them nagging
like HELLO!? i cant read minds for goodness sake
if i could i'd freaking do the stuff before u start nagging that i'm a good for nothing slacking my ass ard even when it's the hols
come on YOU had your hols n your youth before..
izznt it time for mine?

you may think that i'm all up n about into having fun but ha!
no one really knows me
like how no one really know the real u too
i can break down in a moment n the next i'm talking like normal
it may have been awkward for us juz now so i'd say i'm sorry
but i don think i'll let myself worry much..

argh heck care
had a nice day at the beach
skin got a lil darker
n my attitude's turned to the worse

the most i've been thinking bout recently is why couldnt i be born a mute
i so don wanna talk nowadays..
unless it's something fun/external topics, that, u can here me chatter for all i want
but there are always things i nv mention or talk about
n they juz keep circling in your head
which sucks

but anyway..i'm gonna shower read some manga n slp by 11today
so don wanna bother with this world but this world has my friends
thou i might not let u know anything,
i juz want u guys to know the existance of friends are highly important in my life n i can say for sure that i would nv say i regret making friends with any of you
u don need to do anything..juz sitting next/near to me n i'll be grateful.
don need to pry nor need to know what happened..juz your existance alone makes me feel that i'm not the only one alone..this is so freakin gay but =)
WAAAAHH..i so miss shareen now TT_TT
i so gonna slp early n play with my lil mouse before that

izznt it hilarious how i can pretend nothing happened when i know that it bothers me most?this world is full of fake fronts..don not see what u believe but take what u see as the truth anyway cos no one wants to let u see them weak..
i tried to suppress it today but i guess a lil leaked out..guess i'm nt as strong as i am
it's weird how silence makes everything depressing..
i desperately need music in my life to fill up all the moments of silence n interrupt my deep thoughts before i decide i'm better off dead

sorry if this post makes no sense
sweet dreams ppl
[this is the only time whereby i hope that i'm alr attached..sigh..everybody needs somebody]